Classic Climbing Routes for Pastry Lovers
Rebel Bread has an appetite for decadence. Powdered sugar atop baked almonds and frangipane calls us the way snow-capped mountains called John Muir. We also seek decadence beyond the bakery, and find it in the vertical world of rock climbing. Besides, what’s more decadent - a velvety mascarpone filled croissant under moody morning cafe lighting, or gripping solid granite next to shimmering, orange and yellow dancing Aspen tree leaves? When you bring baked goods on a rock climb, you don’t have to choose. In the words of John Muir himself:
“Everybody needs beauty as well as bread.”
Here we have paired our favorite pastries with a few classic rock climbs in the Front Range (some we’ve climbed, some we hope to). We recommend commencing your adventure at Rebel Bread Cafe, where you can gather your wares before heading out for a decadent, adventure-filled day.
Yellow Dog Dingo + Pistachio Orange Chocolate Chip Cookie
Yellow Dog Dingo, Clear Creek Canyon
Location: Clear Creek Canyon - Golden
Route rating: 5.6
Our rating: 🥐🥐🥐
Tasting notes: Nutty, Citrus, Sicilian snack
Type: Sport, 3 pitches
This classic multi-pitch route offers more than just a fun adventure. Hearty, complex, and a little salty, you will be made to rethink what a cookie should be in the first place. You may love the comfort and safety of a sport route in the gym, but leaving the concrete jungle so far below you as you climb the varied, interesting pitches leading to cozy ledges will convert you to an outdoor climber and pistachio cookie lover in no time.
Pistachio Orange Chocolate Chip Cookie
The Steeple + Tiramisu Croissant Knot
Tiramisu Croissant Knot
Location: The Monastery - Estes Park
Route Rating: 5.8
Our rating: Unknown
Tasting notes: Coffee, Pastry Cream, Silky, Legendary
Type: Sport
The Steeple follows a beautiful line up a unique rock formation, offering sweeping views. The espresso powder laminated directly into the dough and velvety mascarpone filling will give you the boost you need to tackle this legendary climb.
The Cookie Thief + Cinnamon-Sugar Morning Bun
The Cookie Thief, Staunton State Park
Location: Staunton State Park - Pine
Route rating: 5.6
Our rating: 🥐🥐🥐
Tasting notes: Cinnamon-Sugar, Orange Zest, Sunday Morning
Type: Sport
Life is meant to be enjoyed, and few things remind us of this more than a sugary, cinnamon-y Morning Bun paired with a meandering, 95’ steep slab. It will take you to the moon and back, especially if enjoyed with a cappuccino.
Cinnamon-Sugar Morning Bun
Ripple + Raspberry Cream Cheese Square
Raspberry Cream Cheese Croissant Square
Location: Clear Creek Canyon - Golden
Route rating: 5.8
Our rating: 🥐🥐🥐
Tasting notes: Tart, Cheesecake, Fancy
Type: Sport, single pitch
Ripple is a fun romp in a popular crag (Canal Zone) in the Clear Creek Canyon climbing area. The approach is as easy as it gets - it is a danish, after all. Housemade raspberry jam and a sweet cream cheese compliment the flaky, butter layers of the croissant. Both this climb and this pastry are an indulgence that you will not soon forget.
Ripple, Clear Creek Canyon
Big Squirrels Don’t Cry + K-Pop Croissant
Big Squirrels Don’t Cry, Staunton State Park
Location: Staunton State Park
Route rating: 5.9
Our rating: 🥐🥐🥐
Tasting notes: Honey, Spicy, Umami
Type: Sport, single pitch
Both this unique pastry and single-pitch climb offer a full-on adventure that you will share among friends forever. The climbing on Big Squirrels is solid and steep, though the easier, run-out section near the anchors may give your heart a little zap, kind of like the Taekyung red pepper powder (and nori seaweed) laminated into the dough of the K-Pop Croissant.
The Comp Wall at Movement Englewood + Quarterly Pastry Special
The Comp Wall at Movement Englewood
Location: Movement Englewood
Route rating: Unknown
Our rating: 🥐🥐🥐
Tasting notes: Unknown
Type: Top-rope
There’s a wall at Movement Englewood near the back slabs, facing the lead wall, that features two fun, unrated routes. The moves are always fun and entertaining, both for the climber and any onlookers. The Quarterly Pastry Special, similarly, is a mystery until our bakers announce what they’ve concocted, and they’re always on the wild side.
“The world is big and I want to have a good look at it before it gets dark” - John Muir